The Christian faith is well know for having its ideal scenario of marriage before having kids. I acknowledge that everyone has their own ways of living I am not agreeing nor disagreeing with the scenario. However, due to the aforementioned statement, Christians marry with the expectation placed upon them that they will start a family i.e. have babies. It means that married couples without kids are quite regularly asked “So, when will we hear the pitter patter of tiny feet?” (or something along those lines).
I have two children so thankfully am no longer asked this question but when I was, I wanted so badly to yell back “F**k off! It’s none of your business whether I’m having unprotected sex or not!” I know, no malice was meant in the asking of the dreaded baby question but you can guarantee that it was being asked or implied several times a week by different people. Now, as someone who married in their early twenties, I don’t see a problem for a couple to marry young, it presented it’s own challenges but (and I can’t stress enough) there was absolutely no way I/we were ready to start a family.
I know a couple who got so fed-up of well meaning members of their church asking “So when are you planning on having kids?” that they responded with “We can’t have kids.” Now, I would never have the bottle to say this but for them it did have the desired effect. People stopped asking (however, it lead to a bit of upset and confusion when they did fall pregnant).
Another couple (who are close friends) I spoke to recently are holidaying several times a year, traveling so see friends and family at weekends, generally happy with how their lives are going. Yet, 9 years into their marriage they are still asked regularly whether or not they are planning on having kids.
Sorry to rant but here I go! This (in my opinion) out-dated, stereotypical and insensitive assumption places extra pressure on couples to procreate before they are ready, if they ever want to, or can. I can’t imagine the pain of being asked the baby question frequently when the couple can’t have kids.
Learning to live with someone is hard enough before adding a baby into the mix. The size of your family unit is not relevant but whether love is present. For love is the key.