Ok so after many months of debating in my head about how useful I am, I decided to start looking for a job. I have sorted out my C.V. and started to look around. I had not anticipated positive responses when applying for job but I did manage to get an interview. Very, exciting! I have to admit that my emotional response caught me off guard. I was happy yet felt so sad, the realisation that if I got a job I would be gaining some freedom yet giving up my volunteering roles, and giving up some time looking after my young one.
Well anyways I had some wine to celebrate getting so far on the job journey. I got emotional then words started forming and jumbling in my mind so I had to get them down on paper. This is what I think conveys how I felt about giving up some of my volunteering (by the way I feel I should give you a cheese warning) :-
My Children Centre, the heart beat of my community,
My Children’s Centre, the ability to smile cheerily,
Raising up women to achieve,
Raising up mothers to succeed.
My Children’s Centre, the educator of the weary,
My Children’s Centre, the comforter to the teary,
Raising up families to believe,
Raising up me to fly free.
My Children’s Centre, the victim of your own success,
My Children’s Centre, Thank you, we are so Blessed.
Have you ever tried to fit in with a group? Or society in general? You know, follow the crowd, be the same as others, have something to bond with others about. Well recently I decided to try to fit in! I decided to read a book that lots of people have been reading. You have probably heard of it because it’s been made into a film “The Girl on the Train.”
Now, those who know me, know that I don’t exactly enjoy reading. I find it difficult and I don’t always understand the written word (it’s probably something to do with being dyslexic). Anyway I downloaded the Kindle app, signed up and searched for the book.
I started to read and I was instantly hooked! The book was gripping and mysterious. I found it flowed easily and was soon engrossed in the story. I enjoyed guessing what was going to happen next, fitting each clue together to guess what was actually going on. I read this book in 3 days! Yes you read that correctly – 3 days. I was so pleased with myself. I couldn’t wait to discuss the details of the book, the characters, the theories, and the general story line with my friends.
In fact I was so pleased with myself that I posted about it on Facebook. Friends chimed in with how much they had enjoyed (or not enjoyed) the book. They asked me what I thought. Well, I didn’t want to give anything away online so I kept my answers vague.
It wasn’t until a few days later when we were at a friends for dinner that I got my chance to talk about it. I lept at the chance. “Hey, I read that book that everyone is talking about” I said. She said that she didn’t particularly enjoy it but asked what I thought about it. Now the kids were still at the table and I didn’t want to go into to much detail so I described the book as good but parts of it sad and a bit freaky due to what happens with the young boy……. I was met with a confused look. I can’t quite remember the exact conversation, something about discussing the main characters names, but I do remember putting my head on the table as the penny dropped and saying “I’ve read the wrong book. I read Girl on a Train NOT The Girl on the Train”. So, yes, I had read a book. One called “Girl on a Train” by A.J. Waines. My husband burst into laughter exclaiming “Ah, Classic Vicki.”
Now it is funny, my husband isn’t being mean (I have a long history of misinterpreting things, and going off on my own tangent). It is, however, incredibly frustrating. Not only have I alienated myself by reading the wrong book (the exact opposite of what I had intended), I don’t have anyone to discuss it with! Yet again, I have got the wrong end of the stick. I have done something to highlight how different I am from others! It’s not exactly my desired outcome! #GirlonaTrain NOT #TheGirlontheTrain #Pleasereadit
But, hey every cloud and all that. Did I mention I read a whole book, and enjoyed doing so!
So this post started out as a list in my head and has pretty much stayed that way. I also can’t get the “Happiness, Happyiness, the greatest gift That I possess” song line out of my head. So I have pretty much just listed a few of the things that have made me happy of the past couple of weeks.
Christmas happened. We spent time with family. This made me happy.
On Saturdays we spent time with friends. We had no time frames, we just ate good food, chatted, laughed, went for a walk, and spent time together.
Also a friend texted me to say she loved the present I got her for Christmas. This made me happy.
On Sunday a friend announced that she got engaged. This made me happy.
Also on Sunday my son randomly picked up a book “Keith the Cat with the Magic Hat” and fumbled his way through the book. Sounding out and correcting himself. This made me happy.
This week my often tantruming 2 year old kissed and hugged me and told me she loved me. This made me happy.
My husband got up with the kids yesterday and I got to sleep more. Yes, you guessed it, this made me happy.